Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Site Transfer

As of late, I have been using the Weebly.com site builder and I am going to move this blog over to that site.  My old site was thelostboyshaven.blogspot.com and I am moving it to thelostboyshaven.weebly.com.  I will be moving all my posts to the new website so that you won't miss out on any of the action.  

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Life Experience

Many people choose not to have children.  I am not sure whether due to an unwillingness to change or perhaps there is no desire to have pee sprayed on you while changing a diaper - Go figure.  Whatever the reason, you are missing out.  My wife and I have just welcomed another child into our family.  We waited 2 years after the birth of our last child to have this one.

There is something about a new child.  As a father, you want to everything that you can for that little bundle. You want to help your wife with things that she has done for the last while but can't while her body heals.  There is something special about looking into the eyes of an infant and seeing absolutely not hate, disgust or dishonesty.  There is nothing imperfect about them.  They eager to learn and to be watched after by you.  They look to you as a source of stability and strength.  You can see yourself doing all sorts of fun things.  Then, the crowning moment when their little lips part and a wide toothless grin shows for only a second.  If you look twice it is gone, but you can't take your eyes off them because you know where they came from.  You know that your role in life is no longer for yourself; but for the well being of your child(ren).

Welcome to the world Daemmin James-Scott Kinsey!  You are loved more that you know.  I love you!

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Envy in Life

Since it seems that no one reads this much - I figure that I will put what I really think on the page - rather than having to worry about who might read it and what they will think.

I have a great friend who is older than I who was looking for houses.  His family is well established and they do quite well for themselves.  As my family and I struggle to work towards no debt and hopes of owning our own home, my mind is clouded with nothing but wishes that I could provide the type of living that he does for his kids.  They have so many opportunities that my kids don't have.

Being that I was married quite early in life, I didn't have a great chance to put away a rainy day fund.  When my wife and I were married only about a year, we fell for a mail scam and were instantly in debt $3600.00 and because we wanted to do the right thing, we took out a loan for the full amount with the credit union.  The next series of fortunate and self inflicted evens were catastrophic to our financial standing.  We rented six apartment/houses in a period of roughly 2 years.  Each lease we began, we didn't fulfill one of them.  We threw away close to $5000 in that space of time and increased our debt to around $20,000.  There was always a better place to live for a better price.

In our fifth house we were nearly bankrupt.  We were living in plummer with next to nothing and little food.  We had no income and we were about $1500 behind on our tithing.  We had no furniture other than a table to eat at, and beds for our children.  My wife and I slept on a mattress on the floor.  We could barely manage to pay our rent of $400 dollars.   I tried to find a job and ended up working and faking that I knew how to do foundation work so that we could make some money.  I leaned a great deal on one of my friends, who had moved to Plummer, ID about 3 weeks prior to our moving there, quite heavily to help me know what to do with the foundation.  He would tell me what I needed and how to do and I would get the materials and fulfill his instructions.  When that project was done, we had just enough money to get out of Plummer and I had accepted a dead end call center job in downtown Spokane, WA.

We moved to the Valley of Spokane right across for where I was going to school.  I was making little money and we were moving further and further into debt.  We were close to hitting $40,000 dollars in debt at this point.  Most of it from school loans and Credit Card debt.  While working at the call center job, I interviewed at a local credit union for an IT Help Desk position and was pleased to accept their invitation to work there.  Since then, I have graduated with an Associates degree and have been on a six month break.  

About the same time that I took the IT job, we found out that we were pregnant with our third child.  This was huge news for us as we had been trying for two years.  We were blessed about 6 months later to be approved for a loan for a van to carry the lot of us together.  I truly have been given a lot and I have tried so hard not to be complacent during the hard times.  I think that looking back on the whole thing, I led us down a number of "strange paths".  They of course were just the outlet of a much greater issue.  My inside soul and lack of temperament.  

It turned out that my lack of confidence and lack of leadership had in fact brought us to the place that we were. While I wished that I could be someone who had it all at the beginning, I would, and am learning that it is a slow process.  There are certain things that must be learned slowly.  I am 23 years old.  I have three children and I have been married for 5 years.  I live paycheck to paycheck in hopes of providing a better life for my children than what my parents gave me.  I have realized that I am not as good of a father as I thought I was.  I have so much to learn about being patient.  I am not who I thought I was in the grand scheme of things.  I am imperfect.  I am envious of others talents.  I am disgruntled.  I wish that I had more money, less debt and a better outlook on the whole thing.  

Truly I hope that my children turn out with a better understanding of how the world works than I did.  I hope that my children understand that things aren't free no matter how much you want them to be, of how much you think that they should be.  I hope that I don't mold into a hard and broken old man.  Many of the ideals that I thought the world would share with me, are not existent in the world.  Not only that, but there are so many things that I thought that I could change, and I didn't do any of it.  

I am going to be a working stiff who will work until he can't move any more and may not have a retirement fund.  I have a feeling that I will spend my life working to make my children better off that I was and I will be left with nothing to show for it.  My wife wants a large family.  I want the children we do have to have a good work ethic and to know how the world works.  I want them to be prepared, more so than I was.  I want them not to throw away my adolescence like I did.  I hope and pray that they choose the better path and seek for truth.  Here is the best part though, they need an example.  I will be that for them.  I have promised myself that I will be a good father no matter what I give up for myself.  I will be the father that I didn't have.  


Friday, June 15, 2012

Gateway to the Weekend

Friday is the official gateway to the weekend.  Today has been hellish to say the least.  Today seemed like the first day in 6 months that I didn't want to go to work.  There is something not right today.  I just feel off.  I really need a vacation.  Luckily, I have one coming up on the 22nd and 23rd.

It can't come soon enough...

Sunday, May 20, 2012

Seeing Miracles

What would it have been like to see Christ walk the Earth? What would it be like to see a blind man see for the first time?  To see Christ raise Lazarus from the dead and watch him live again as Jesus did after his crucifixion. He lived on the Earth as a Rabbi, a Teacher, a Brother and the Son of the everlasting God.  He lived as our savior and taught us the way of his father.

After the crucifixion of Jesus the Christ, what would it have been like to be a witness that he lives; to see the nail prints in his hands and feet?  How strong the spirit must have been at that moment.  Jesus Christ lives and loves us all each day!  There is a way that we can feel of his love and light - to continue his work on the Earth this day and for all days going forward; until his glorious second coming.  By serving our fellow men and devoting time for service to those elderly, less fortunate or by searching for truth, we are following Christs path he laid for each of us.

We are all entwined one with another; like a web.  By serving our fellow men and women, we lift their spirit and aid then when they need more than what they themselves can provide.  There might be a prayer said to our father in Heaven asking for his help.  Our father may choose to place us as a vessel of aid and strength to that person at that time.  Can we do this if we are not living worthily?  How can we hear the promptings of the Holy ghost when we don't listen to music that is pleasing to him?

I can testify that if we live our lives in a way which invites peace and tranquility in our homes, we will be blessed.  If we choose to "Fear God" instead of "Fear Men", our self esteem will be increased in the spirit of Jesus Christ who rose and lives today.  I love him.  I have failed him, and will fail him as I am not perfect.  But he will never let me be lost.  There is always a way back to him, no matter the length of the path.  He will always go back for the 1 sheep of the 99 to make sure that his fold is complete.

Jesus loves us!  The evidence of this is all around us!  From the crawling ant to the leaping antelope, the miraculous wonders of God are evident every where.  I am so glad that I am learning his ways and learning what he wishes for me.  I am a father, a son, a brother and a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  I am a Mormon.    

Thursday, May 17, 2012

The Long Awaited Adventure

I have planned to go on an honest adventure this summer for my birthday.  Two years ago my good friend and I went on a trek to the Selkirk mountians.  Our goal was to get to Pyramid Lake, however, without a real plan.  We had a paper printout of google maps at about 10,000 ft.  Needless to say we missed our trail head and ended up bolder hopping for near 3 miles.  So we got out of the Scramble and then camped about 300 yards up the trail that we found.  Then we got up and hiked out. 

This time my friends Jake, Scott, Isaiah, Kody and hopefully Conor along with myself will be taking on the strenuous Long Canyon Loop hike.  This hike is a between 30 and 39 miles long depending on the side trips that you take.  We will be crossing long canyon creek, 'Crik' in Idahoian, (which is literally what the guide book tells you; just amazing!) twice and niether time it has a bridge.  I am quite excited though.  This trail is in the Selkirk Wilderness about 10 miles from Canada. 

There are magnificent views and it is the last remaining un-logged drainage left in Idaho.  We will hopefully be summiting Parker Peak, the highest mountain in North Idaho and we will be making a 3 day trip of it.  I think that I would prefer 4 but being working men and all, it is hard to step away for such a long time as it is.  I am quite excited to embark on this journey.  I will be taking pictures and will bring a full report of the journey back.  It will be fun.

Here is a little preview of the country we will be hiking in for 3 days:

The Selkirk Mountian Range from Parker Peak